Letting Go

One of the most inspiring stories of the Old Testament is that of the birth of Moses.  At the time of his birth, Pharaoh  had decreed that all newborn Hebrew males be cast into the Nile (Exodus 1:22, RSV).  The mother of Moses, no longer able to hide her son, put her trust in God and cast him into the very river she had tried to keep him from.  It is very easy to get caught up in situations we can control.  In my recent experience in breaking up with my girlfriend, I tried too hard to keep a close relationship that was not possible.  I wanted her to open up to me when she couldn't, and by repeatedly trying to make her do so, I only caused myself more pain.  Sometimes we have to let things go to a point of total trust and give up all illusions of control.  The thing I've feared most about this break up is losing my best friend.  But if she is unable to open up to me, to really trust me, do we even have a friendship?  I need to let go of our friendship and trust that God will take control and help us both to grow.  

"The Quest for Personal Excellence"

"Magnanimity is always prudent, patient, and realistic.  If you set exorbitantly high standards, you could discourage employees and might even hurt them.  Leaders should not set their people up for a fall, nor should they drive or coerce them.  Such behavior is imprudent and unjust.  It retards personal progress in trying to compel it." - Alexandre Havard

This common sense advice is something I too often take for granted.  It should not only strike deep into the hearts and minds of CEO's and politicians.  No, this advice is also for interactions among family and friends.  We are all called to be leaders in that we are called to grow in personal virtue and help others do the same (Havard, 2007, p.XIV).  Too often, however, I grow impatient at another's seeming immaturity, lashing out to show that I am just as immature.  It is far too easy to see someone else's faults and expect them to grow up, but without patience they cannot grow.  It is impossible to change another person.  They must change themself, and my reaction to their behavior facilitates that change.  Patience provides a nurturing environment.  However, patience is nothing without prudence.  Prudence determines when the patient person acts.  Without prudence, patience becomes tolerance.  And it is not enough to tolerate a friend's faults, for by virtue of our love for them we are called to help them grow in personal excellence.

SOURCE(S):
Havard, A. (2007) Virtuous Leadership: An Agenda for Personal Excellence.  New York: Scepter Publishers, Inc.